For now I am moving home to live with my parents in hopes of finding a few things. First, I am hoping to find a home filled with love again. Living in this house that was my family's is hard when my family doesn't exist anymore. I am trying to make this a home for my daughter but the holidays and this ongoing war with my husband combined with the stress of a job search in this market are starting to wear me down. I need help. I need support. Not here and there support...constant support. It's not that I can't handle my toddler...it's that I can't prepare a resume, cover letters, find daycare, prepare meals, apply to jobs, interview, grocery shop, make meals, keep up with a large home and four acres of grass, make quilts I have ordered, and, and, and....I need extra eyes and ears to keep her little busy fingers out of trouble. So I go. I also go because my life has always been built around my amazing family. I need them to be in my life. It was OK living far from them when I was focused on my own family...but now that it has gone the way of the Dodo I miss them terribly. I am moving closer to them if my marriage does end and that would mean that my job search needs to shift over a few counties. So I go. I need a fresh start without him if he doesn't want to share my home. I need to reclaim my life and move forward wounded but stronger. I can't be a broken single mother. I have to be a strong Godly woman. So I go.
Now will the new homestead be a mad house. Yup. I never thought that I would be nearly 30 moving home with my toddler and two dogs but here I am. It is going to be an adventure every day I am sure but I am looking forward to it. To be surrounded by love and support when something goes wrong or it has just been one of those days is a priceless gift that I can only thank God for the opportunity to have.
